Something about Me

Hello people,

My name is Wile E. Super Genius

I am currently in my laboratory thinking of ways to besmirch the dastardly Orange Cat that torments me everyday on my outings. I wish I could say that I could turn the other cheek when it comes the orange hairball but if I did I might end up looking like I had a run in with Freddy Krueger. I will tell you a little about myself. When I was a young pup I had a rough life. The people who owned me…yes, I said owned me…didn’t treat me very well. I was often kicked and hit. As I was tied up in the back yard being soaked by a March downpour I finally made my escape by desperately chewing through the harness that held me captive. I was free!!!! Alone on the streets, hungry, and hurt, but free!
Soon the Dog cops caught me and I was held at the “Pound”. It wasn’t as bad as where I was before: I had food, water and a roof over my head. I had three roommates that were very pushy and always stealing all the food, but I guess it could have been worse. My time at the pound was growing short. Everyday people would walk through the halls looking at us and trying to decide if we would go home with them. I waited for my turn, but it didn’t seem like it was going to come. One sunny day, a girl with long flowing brown hair walked up to my cage. She bent down and called to the little black whiney guy laying behind me. He looked up but never came to her. I walked up and placed my paw through the cage to get her attention. I also gave her my best booboo lip. She looked at me and said something to the big lady with her, then walked off. My heart sank into my tail.
Several days passed, and it was looking bleak. Several people came to my cage, and the girl and the big lady came too, but they were looking at the black dog, not me. It didn’t look like I was ever going to get probation. An older gentleman reached down and picked up the little black dog and cuddled him tight. Well, at least I got rid of a roommate. The girl sat down in front of my cage and took a tennis ball out of her pocket. She put it near me to see what my reaction would be (she didn’t know that next to cow and chicken the tennis ball is one of my favorite things). I didn’t know it at the time, but the girl and big lady were in the process of springing me out. I had to have surgery and a microchip before I could leave, but once that was all done the Big Lady came back, scooped me up in a blanket, put me in a warm dog crate, and took me to a new home.

My new home is amazing. I have my own bed with a fuzzy blanket (we refer to it as a woobie). I have tons of toys, food, treats, cookies, but most importantly a family who loves me. I have a girl, a mom and a dad. While my plan for world domination is ongoing, at least I can do it in comfort with the love and support of my new family


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

When did my neighborhood turn into nightmare on elm street


Hello everyone,
I can imagine that a lot of you thought that I may have dropped off the doggy hemisphere.
Not the case.  I have been on a vacation of sorts.  Relaxing in the summer sun and trying to figure out how my neighborhood suddenly turned into nightmare on elm street.  Many of you are aware that we have several Rabid Godzilla Chickens that roam the area but now new creatures are interloping.  We have always had Cats (it is unfortunate but true) Now we have an influx of big striped tail monsters who wear masks when they try and steal your food. These striped burglars don't have enough guts to show their faces when they encroach on my territory.  I know they are afraid of me because they only come onto my area when I am tucked in bed and fast asleep.  I have seen them running across the grass in search of a tall pine tree to climb so I know they are there. Another monster that has entered into the mix is this very large toxic waste rat.  I have seen rats when Mom takes me to the pet store and this thing looks like something in the horror movies my family watches… SCARY!!!  This Toxic Rat is bigger than I am with a long ugly pink tail that looks like someone accidentally shaved it. (I suppose it's because of the toxic waste) When I am out for my evening patrol I have crossed paths with this weird looking beast.  Its eyes glow when Mom shines the flash light in its direction.  It also likes to hiss, which I find humorous.  I never get to close because if it is toxic I don't want any of it rubbing off on me.  All I need is for my ears to get bigger.  Mom says that both the bushy burglar and Toxic waste rat could potentially be dangerous for me, both are bigger than me and have much sharper teeth and claws. (what can I saw I'm a lover not a fighter)  Mom and Dad make sure that No food or water are left out in our yard for either one to think that they can come get a snack.  When we do have evidence that they have been in my area mom makes sure to clean the area well to prevent any cooties they have from coming in contact with me.  I know this may seem a little prissy but I have no desire to get sick or smell like a toxic waste rat, so clean away MOM!
 


So when your out on patrol make sure you keep alert your neighborhood may be next.


Cheers from the dog with the ears…..

Posted by WIle E. at 1:02 AM

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