Something about Me

Hello people,

My name is Wile E. Super Genius

I am currently in my laboratory thinking of ways to besmirch the dastardly Orange Cat that torments me everyday on my outings. I wish I could say that I could turn the other cheek when it comes the orange hairball but if I did I might end up looking like I had a run in with Freddy Krueger. I will tell you a little about myself. When I was a young pup I had a rough life. The people who owned me…yes, I said owned me…didn’t treat me very well. I was often kicked and hit. As I was tied up in the back yard being soaked by a March downpour I finally made my escape by desperately chewing through the harness that held me captive. I was free!!!! Alone on the streets, hungry, and hurt, but free!
Soon the Dog cops caught me and I was held at the “Pound”. It wasn’t as bad as where I was before: I had food, water and a roof over my head. I had three roommates that were very pushy and always stealing all the food, but I guess it could have been worse. My time at the pound was growing short. Everyday people would walk through the halls looking at us and trying to decide if we would go home with them. I waited for my turn, but it didn’t seem like it was going to come. One sunny day, a girl with long flowing brown hair walked up to my cage. She bent down and called to the little black whiney guy laying behind me. He looked up but never came to her. I walked up and placed my paw through the cage to get her attention. I also gave her my best booboo lip. She looked at me and said something to the big lady with her, then walked off. My heart sank into my tail.
Several days passed, and it was looking bleak. Several people came to my cage, and the girl and the big lady came too, but they were looking at the black dog, not me. It didn’t look like I was ever going to get probation. An older gentleman reached down and picked up the little black dog and cuddled him tight. Well, at least I got rid of a roommate. The girl sat down in front of my cage and took a tennis ball out of her pocket. She put it near me to see what my reaction would be (she didn’t know that next to cow and chicken the tennis ball is one of my favorite things). I didn’t know it at the time, but the girl and big lady were in the process of springing me out. I had to have surgery and a microchip before I could leave, but once that was all done the Big Lady came back, scooped me up in a blanket, put me in a warm dog crate, and took me to a new home.

My new home is amazing. I have my own bed with a fuzzy blanket (we refer to it as a woobie). I have tons of toys, food, treats, cookies, but most importantly a family who loves me. I have a girl, a mom and a dad. While my plan for world domination is ongoing, at least I can do it in comfort with the love and support of my new family


Thursday, February 25, 2010

Why would any dog want to be naked????

So as I often do.. I get stinky.. When my fur starts feeling less than fluffy and my Frito feet smell more like a corn chip factory.. My mom says the very word that sends chills down my spine..."BATH" yes that's right "BATH!" I am not nor have I ever claimed to be a waterdog. I enjoy drinking it but that is as far as it ever needs to go.
I unfortunately do get regular baths, My mom says she likes the way it makes my fur fluffy and soft. I like it because it means that as soon as I go outside I get to roll around and pick up new smells.
Bath time always starts out the same way. first my mom starts the water so that it can be the perfect temperature. Then she gets the nozzle down and gets it ready to assault my perfectly seasoned fur. My girl gets to chase me around the house trying to catch me so that she can take of my collar and medals. I try to make this as difficult as possible, I can fit under the bed she can't.
Once she finally catches me (or I just give up) she takes off my collar and medals. I have to admit this kinda feels good at least initially. She rubs and scratches my neck and its really relaxing. That lasts for about 2 minutes then its splash into the tub. I am not one that fights to get out of the tub I figure the more I cooperate the quicker it will be over. Mom wets me down and soaps me up and starts washing... If it weren't for the water part it wouldn't be so bad!! Mom likes to make up silly songs as she is giving me a bath. I'm not sure which is worse her singing or the fact that I'm standing in 4 inches of water with a soaphawk down my back.   Fortunately this whole process doesn't take too long and soon I am being lifted out of the tub and wrapped in a large towel to be dried.  My mom makes sure every nook and cranny is nice and dry.  Now that I am done she sets me down on the floor, I look up at her and take off like a child who has eaten his weight in sugar.  I am bouncing around the living room chasing my "Girl".  My mom calls me either stealth or ninja when I don't have my collar on because I can ever so quietly sneak up on you…..(I sometimes amaze myself with how ninja like I become, my toys don't know what hit them)  After I've done this for about a half an hour my Mom walks into the living room with my collar in her hand and gives it a gentle shake.  I of course immediately look up from the toy I am currently trying to behead.  Mom asks me if I would like my medals back on.  I run over to her and sit down next to her on the floor.  She picks me up cuddles me, gives me a kiss on the head and puts my collar on me.  My girl laughs as I dip my head down so Mom can fasten it, she says I wonder if he knows that this means he's a part of "OUR FAMILY".   I never thought to much about that before… But I took another look at my collar and noticed what as on it, not just the license and shot stuff but I have two special tags on my collar that were made just for me, one has my name and phone number. The other is my attitude piece which is a skull and crossbones.  So I guess you'd have to be an official member of the family to have a collar with medals.  So while I might enjoy the occasional after bath ninja attack on my monkey,  I'm glad that I don't have to go naked.  My collar and medals show the world that I am part of a family!!


Cheers from the dog with the ears!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by WIle E. at 6:36 AM

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