Something about Me

Hello people,

My name is Wile E. Super Genius

I am currently in my laboratory thinking of ways to besmirch the dastardly Orange Cat that torments me everyday on my outings. I wish I could say that I could turn the other cheek when it comes the orange hairball but if I did I might end up looking like I had a run in with Freddy Krueger. I will tell you a little about myself. When I was a young pup I had a rough life. The people who owned me…yes, I said owned me…didn’t treat me very well. I was often kicked and hit. As I was tied up in the back yard being soaked by a March downpour I finally made my escape by desperately chewing through the harness that held me captive. I was free!!!! Alone on the streets, hungry, and hurt, but free!
Soon the Dog cops caught me and I was held at the “Pound”. It wasn’t as bad as where I was before: I had food, water and a roof over my head. I had three roommates that were very pushy and always stealing all the food, but I guess it could have been worse. My time at the pound was growing short. Everyday people would walk through the halls looking at us and trying to decide if we would go home with them. I waited for my turn, but it didn’t seem like it was going to come. One sunny day, a girl with long flowing brown hair walked up to my cage. She bent down and called to the little black whiney guy laying behind me. He looked up but never came to her. I walked up and placed my paw through the cage to get her attention. I also gave her my best booboo lip. She looked at me and said something to the big lady with her, then walked off. My heart sank into my tail.
Several days passed, and it was looking bleak. Several people came to my cage, and the girl and the big lady came too, but they were looking at the black dog, not me. It didn’t look like I was ever going to get probation. An older gentleman reached down and picked up the little black dog and cuddled him tight. Well, at least I got rid of a roommate. The girl sat down in front of my cage and took a tennis ball out of her pocket. She put it near me to see what my reaction would be (she didn’t know that next to cow and chicken the tennis ball is one of my favorite things). I didn’t know it at the time, but the girl and big lady were in the process of springing me out. I had to have surgery and a microchip before I could leave, but once that was all done the Big Lady came back, scooped me up in a blanket, put me in a warm dog crate, and took me to a new home.

My new home is amazing. I have my own bed with a fuzzy blanket (we refer to it as a woobie). I have tons of toys, food, treats, cookies, but most importantly a family who loves me. I have a girl, a mom and a dad. While my plan for world domination is ongoing, at least I can do it in comfort with the love and support of my new family


Friday, March 25, 2011

What was Ben Franklin thinking? a rabid godzilla chicken...Really????

So, I decided to brave the weather this morning and actually wanted to go for a stroll rather than out and back in again as I have been doing the last couple of days.  I know that I have webbed feet but still does not mean that I enjoy the water!!  Anyway I digress, I was prepared for the weather with my raincoat on and hood pulled snugly over my ears, rain starting to gentle come down so we were headed back home when my bionic dog hearing kicked in.... I heard it....GOOOOOBBBLEEE. I thought I had scared them off but noooooo, The Rabid Godzilla Chicken was back.  I did what immediately came to mind and started barking... It seemed unfazed.. That's when it dawned on me... This is probably not one of the more intelligent animals out there. It had obviously been out in the rain for sometime... Does it not have any sense to find a place to hid during inclement weather?? No wonder why we eat this Delicious oversize chicken... its not real bright...I felt sorry for the Godzilla Chicken today..so I walked away leaving it standing in the now steady down pour looking more like a character from some anime cartoon my girl watches than a formidable adversary... As my Mom and I walked back home I wondered... What was Ben Franklin thinking???  He wanted this Rabid Godzilla Chicken who sounds like it has a mouth full of marshmallows when it talks to be our National Bird... Ben may have been a brilliant man but thank goodness they didn't listen to them...When people see the EAGLE our National bird is majestic it shows courage, strength and resilience.  All the things our country was founded on...  Not some giant steroid looking monster chicken that wanders aimlessly in the pouring rain like a zombie.  Wow what message would that have sent about our country? We look ridiculous but taste great!!!

So Mr. Rabid Godzilla Chicken you may have thought you won today....Not the case... I felt sorry for you...You are no match for my superior intellect and tactical skills... Today I will let you feel victorious...  At least I'm in my house warm and dry.  While you are out soaked looking like a rejected Muppet.

We will meet again... Cheers, from the dog with the ears.............

No comments:

Post a Comment