Something about Me

Hello people,

My name is Wile E. Super Genius

I am currently in my laboratory thinking of ways to besmirch the dastardly Orange Cat that torments me everyday on my outings. I wish I could say that I could turn the other cheek when it comes the orange hairball but if I did I might end up looking like I had a run in with Freddy Krueger. I will tell you a little about myself. When I was a young pup I had a rough life. The people who owned me…yes, I said owned me…didn’t treat me very well. I was often kicked and hit. As I was tied up in the back yard being soaked by a March downpour I finally made my escape by desperately chewing through the harness that held me captive. I was free!!!! Alone on the streets, hungry, and hurt, but free!
Soon the Dog cops caught me and I was held at the “Pound”. It wasn’t as bad as where I was before: I had food, water and a roof over my head. I had three roommates that were very pushy and always stealing all the food, but I guess it could have been worse. My time at the pound was growing short. Everyday people would walk through the halls looking at us and trying to decide if we would go home with them. I waited for my turn, but it didn’t seem like it was going to come. One sunny day, a girl with long flowing brown hair walked up to my cage. She bent down and called to the little black whiney guy laying behind me. He looked up but never came to her. I walked up and placed my paw through the cage to get her attention. I also gave her my best booboo lip. She looked at me and said something to the big lady with her, then walked off. My heart sank into my tail.
Several days passed, and it was looking bleak. Several people came to my cage, and the girl and the big lady came too, but they were looking at the black dog, not me. It didn’t look like I was ever going to get probation. An older gentleman reached down and picked up the little black dog and cuddled him tight. Well, at least I got rid of a roommate. The girl sat down in front of my cage and took a tennis ball out of her pocket. She put it near me to see what my reaction would be (she didn’t know that next to cow and chicken the tennis ball is one of my favorite things). I didn’t know it at the time, but the girl and big lady were in the process of springing me out. I had to have surgery and a microchip before I could leave, but once that was all done the Big Lady came back, scooped me up in a blanket, put me in a warm dog crate, and took me to a new home.

My new home is amazing. I have my own bed with a fuzzy blanket (we refer to it as a woobie). I have tons of toys, food, treats, cookies, but most importantly a family who loves me. I have a girl, a mom and a dad. While my plan for world domination is ongoing, at least I can do it in comfort with the love and support of my new family


Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Chirstmas was Wile E. licking good for my cousin Favre...

Well I've had a couple of days to clean up and chill out.


I hope everyone had a great Christmas Holiday... News years is just a couple days away.


Like every year we went to my Grandparents for Christmas... My parents always bring my portable house with us just in case I get a little freaky deeky..  My cousin Favre was out and about when we got there.  First, in order to understand the significance of this, let me explain.  I am a little frightened of large dogs.  The fear of being eaten is first and foremost in my mind.  I don't know if it had to do with a bad experience I had as a pup, or like people who fear the Ocean because of sharks.. Nobody wants to be something Else's snack.


Favre is part Bull dog and Part Boxer.. This doesn't sound that bad until you realize that he is as tall as a boxer but built like a Bulldog.  He weighs about 10 times what I do.  OK so now you get the picture.  Favre is very much the Alpha dog in his house, Here I am sitting on the couch with my Mom and Girl.  He decides to come over and get a sniff and say hi.  I generally don't mind this except he lifted me up off the couch and I was basically doing a handstand.  I started to get a little miffed, Mom noticed and told me to chill out, so I sat and was as good as I could be.  This happened several times over the course of the night.  Now I will admit, I was allowed to do something that he is not..... I was allowed to lay on my woobie on the couch.  Now, I am admittedly much, much smaller than him so that might be why its allowed to slide, that and if I was down on the floor with him he might get frustrated and sit on me.  At one point toward the end of the night I was sitting enjoying a snack when up strolled Favre, first he stole my snack then decided that I was next.... Now he didn't try to bite me he did however lick my entire head, rear-end, stomach and feet,  I had been slimed.  Now, I know how the kids on nickelodeon feel when they get the green goop dropped on them.  Favre has the biggest tongue that I have ever seen..  I was violated...was I being loved on or tasted to see if I had enough seasoning??


In any case when we got home, Mom had to wash my head, face and other parts.  I hate being wet, I hate being washed.  But the stiff dog slobber had to go! I don't look good with a Mohawk.


To cousin Favre, I love you man but personal space....personal space...


Cheers from the dog with the ears>..........


 

Posted by WIle E. at 12:51 AM

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